Survivor Season 20 Results Show

For those of you who didn’t follow the latest season, Mark Burnett stuck another crop of All Stars out on some random island for another 40 days.  Yup.  People still watch the show!  You know back in the day I tried out for survivor and I tell this story because I think my application video was HIGH larious and they thought so too because I did hear back from them. Apparently though, I wasn’t the bratty LA type and they needed to fulfill that character arc. I was however, really funny so they should have put me on! haha.  Damn them.

The year I applied was for Panama and once I watched the show I realized I really lucked out; all of the players were eaten alive. I remember the producers telling me it was a choice between the Rocky Mountains and Panama. You can guess why they ended up picking Panama; all the girls can wear bikinis. Ha! What’s so fun about sliding down some snow and cutting off your frozen limbs? Mosquitoes here we come!!!  Okay so my application video was about how to survive with the bums down in Santa Monica–at night. I thought it was really funny and the bums kindly told me how to survive on the island. One bum told me to bring some antibiotics and then told me about how he escaped gunfire and cracked his jaw on the sidewalk during a knife fight over some dog food. Another bum made up a song about me winning survivor while eating a can of beans that he stole from a restaurant food truck. My application video ended with a quick scene of a friend of mine pretending to be a bum stuck in the tree. He pulled off the disguise pretty well until a REAL bum pointed out he had $500 dollar sneakers on. lol. We all started laughing, he fell out of the tree—and—–CUT. 

Maybe I’ll try out again just to embarrass myself…….maybe is the key word. I’ll have to just make a video of me wearing bandannas around for a bathing suit walking in Ralphs and just tell the producers it would be like my every day life, so why not have me on the show.  I think I’d be all into it until the cold rainy nights and sticky underarms got to me.  By the way did you catch some shots of Pavarti’s 5 inch under arm hair tonight?  HA!  My worst nightmare! I’m not trying to be mean to Pavarti because she’s practically flawless but that was funny.

Good ol’ Marky Mark Burnett (who is sitting in his reality TV throne sucking on tangerine margaritas as I write this) picked a good crop of characters, so for maybe once since the first 3 seasons, Survivor developed another strong fan base. I realized the last time I really watched the entire season of Survivor was when Elizabeth Hasselback was on it. Remember? That’s how she got her start in the industry! Or how about when Colby lost to Tina? Or when Richard used up all his winnings on a weekend in Vegas. Okay, maybe he lost it in a few weekends in Vegas and forgot to report anything to the IRS. My point is, I cannot even tell you who won each season because I stopped watching; until this recent season. This season was actually entertaining and intriguing. —–Tonight was the FINAL REUNION AND VOTE. I capped that so you can see there is a point to this blog article. The final 3 were Pavarti, Russell and Sandra.  Looks like both Pavarti and Sandra won in previous seasons, which made this season, all the more interesting.  http://survivorwiki.wetpaint.com/page/Survivor+Winners

I love how Sandra took the entire win from Pavarti and Russell and this is her SECOND time winning the show.  All she did the entire season was act like a pawn for other players. She spoke up enough to be somewhat useful but even that is questionable. What I can say about her is that she was true to herself and we’ve seen the results time and time again; people love the underdogs who voted with a sense of loyalty.  To her credit, Sandra was pretty much one of the most entertaining parts of the show. She told it like it was during her diary confessions on a rock or underneath a shady palm tree. I’d definitely hang out with Sandra over some drinks; she’s FUN.  Courtney on the other hand….I might ditch her somewhere in the jungle and claim the smoke monster ate her. I couldn’t really figure out at first why Sandra and her were so close but then I realized Courtney is one loud mouth girl; she can dish it out and take it.

Russell breeds a certain love and hate relationship because you know he played really hard but he also is really one dimensional. What I mean by that is at any point someone could have taken him out but they didn’t out of fear that he would find out about it and nail their butts to the jury seats. He was fierce and hardcore and to his credit; quick. What he lacked was a multi dimensional game play that could soften when necessary because if he had slathered some butter on his dry french roll, the jury might have given him a couple more bites in the end. I don’t think Russell understands how a nice person, who knows how to soften the edges, can win a game like this and that’s exactly why he didn’t win this time.  Sandra tried to play for both the Villains and the Heroes and that’s why she won. Can someone tell Russell to stop acting like an egotistical lunatic? He shouted out at the reunion that if America was voting, he would have won. I’m not so sure.  Also…is it just me or did he drop a couple teeth while out on the island? How is it possible that I JUST noticed he was missing teeth tonight on the reunion show? I guess I was too busy looking at Colby’s baby blues. Is he still single by the way? Just checkin. He’s still really cute 50 years later.

Pavarti was a challenge winner, often ruling over the men, but she lacked a certain genuine characteristic during most of the season.  She received respect for how hard she worked to win challenges but she didn’t receive respect for much else other than playing under Russell’s thumb; as some of the jury members like Candice pointed out.  Some men may argue that she provided a charming visual while on the island often wearing little to nothing in challenges.  I thought she looked great at the reunion but something still bugs me about her–maybe it’s her arrogance. 

One of the funnier moments of the final tribal council was when Courtney went up to vote for Sandra and gave a “first fist bump” in the air which Sandra could clearly see from where she was sitting.  Sandra’s facial expression was priceless.

What the heckkkkk is up with Coach? HAHAH. Man…..   I know he speaks his mind and he’s very eloquent (much more than my blog) but he’s just way too serious for me.  Did he ever laugh once during the entire season? Besides when sleeping with Jerry?

Anyways, I think Survivor finally lucked out with a great season and all the Puerto Ricans are raving with joy right about now. Congratulations Sandra- you were the apple to Russell’s snake.