ESTABLISHING SHOT: MAGIC MOUNTAIN-HOT SUMMER DAY-2012
Ext. Ninja Roller Coaster
LENA DUNHAM, 26, stands awkwardly in the blistering heat with her rainbow colored 80’s tank top and balloon jean shorts on. She’s sucking up a lemonade Slurpee. Her friend, ISABELLA, 25, has her arms folded and her hip painfully pointed towards the long line ahead of them.
PATRONS scream as they flip around in the ride and barely miss large cement poles.
You have to be kidding me with this line. You think this is going to take an hour to get through?
Doesn’t everything in the world take an hour?
I wish we had some damn entertainment. Give me some of that.
Isabella grabs the slurpee out of Lena’s hands, squirting a few drops on Lena’s face.
Thanks, that was refreshing.
You like it on your face.
Not all the time, I don’t. I think you have me all wrong.
Isabella points towards a tall man with shoulder length hair, playing guitar, eating a churro, and walking closer to the Girls. It’s JOHN MAYER (35-ish).
Is that who I think it is?
It’s John Mayer. He’s here, possibly to ride the Ninja. My God that’s a fine specimen. He probably never writes back on text and only likes women with chicken thighs.
What’s your obsession with chicken lately?
I grew up in a household that had tons of canned chickens, it’s been one of those things I can never get over.
John Mayer starts singing and sways over to the Girls; he’s just an arm’s length away. His brooding eyes lock with Lena’s as she looks around to see if she’s being filmed.
SFX: Born and Raised – John Mayer
You don’t remember me do you? It’s such a waste to grow up lonely.
The CROWD sings the bridge:
Ahhhhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhh.
Got a Mom, Got a Dad, but they do not have each other. So ride on up. Take your place. Show your face to the morning.
John takes Lena’s hand and twirls her around the churro cart nearby.
Lena (whispers to Isabella)
Look at his arm muscles!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
But my name doesn’t start with a J!
It doesn’t matter. You kiss him or I’m going to do it for you.
John Mayer starts playing the harmonica while Lena awkwardly stands there. She puts her hands in her balloon shorts pocket, then decides to put them on her hips and sway off-beat. John sticks his hands on her hips and teaches her how to move in a sexier fashion. It doesn’t really work.
One of these days I’ll be born and raised…and it’s such a waste to grow up lonely.
Ahhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhh. Aahhhhhhh ahhhhh.
Still got time, still got faith. I call on both of my brothers. Got a mom. Got a dad.
Parents are awesome
But they do not have each other.
And.. that sucks.
Show your face to the morning
John tips Lena and kisses her magically underneath the Ninja ride as someone drops their jacket from the ride above, covering their heads.
Int. Lena’s Living Room- Morning-
Lena pops her head up out of multiple blankets and jackets piled onto the couch. Her hair is disheveled- stinky. Her forehead is covered in Vaseline.
Beer cans and wine bottles fill the floor. Isabella is passed out on the dining room table with a scarf tied around her head.
Lena carefully gets herself up off of the couch, stumbling over to her teacup of green tea that’s surprisingly still sitting on the bookcase where she left it yesterday.
A box of frozen churros is spilled out all over the kitchen counter.
The CD player is skipping on the John Mayer CD- it’s stuck on a particular verse
SFX: “to check ..to check my face….to check my face…”